She lives...

Indeed I'm alive. I know I said I can't keep up with a regular updating schedule, but I didn't mean I'll be posting just once a month. I need to keep this blog alive and post on a semi-regular frequency so that I can be able to look back one day and put the pieces together and be able to get an idea of what was going on in my life, especially with regards to the weight business.

On that note, since I have been away from the blog I haven't been good to myself, at all. Shocker, right? Even to me. I saw this quote somewhere- The state of your life is a reflection of the state of your mind. It really resonated with me, I look at myself and I think I am this way because I am not able to control my mind. My emotions drive me, and that is reflected all around me. I've been trying get myself and things in order, and I'm succeeding in some ways but not others.

By the way, I've officially launched my cake business. Finally. I love baking and decorating cakes. Unfortunately I also like eating cake. So, while I need the extra income, I do not need the effects this business may have on my health if I am not careful. So I haev decided to go drastic at least for this month. I'm going to stop eating cake, or anything for that matter - if I don't chicken out anyway. If all goes according to plan, tomorrow (or sometime this week) I'm starting a liquid diet. I HAVE TO. Hopefully when I've reached a weight I feel comfortable at, not that I'm not saying when I have lost .... pounds or kgs, or even when I'm thin, when I've reached a comfortable weight, I hope I may care enough to not indulge myself willy-nilly. As it is, at this appears the mindset is something along the lives of 'what's an extra kg, it won't show'...and that has got to stop. That's the motivation for going liquid-diet drastic.

In a nut-shell, that's enough to tell the state of affairs at this point...