Always on my mind

I'm convinced that no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I'm always thinking about my size for one reason or other. Most of the I like to think to think that I am comfortable with my size, as in I accept it for what it is, though I do want to get smaller. However, time and time again I find myself worrying about what people think when we pass each other, or when they walk behind me, especially when they walk behind me.

I try to dress in ways that I know are okay for my body, and I like to feel good in my clothes. But sometimes  I fail, and it is on those days that I am most conscious of the fact that I am not 'normal' and that people have a reason to think of me in ways other than normal. And on those days I find my spirit being low, I find myself feeling a bit sad and melancholy...:(

However, I always think of the fact that in my opinion, I have a great body. It may be huge, but I actually have a nice shape. It's not what it used to, some places (e.g. my tummy) don't look as great as pre-baby, but I know I still have a nice shape. Add the fact that I know that if I lost weight I would have a smoking body, and I'm back on top! So yeah, my own bit of therapy, positive thoughts!

What do you do to turn things around when you're not feelings so good due to your weights issues?

She's just not that into it...

Blogging. It seems I'm just not that into it anymore. I used to be excited to share what was going on with my life and could post a new blog a few times a week. Well, not anymore, it appears. I do think about blogging often, but the feeling is never enough to make me drop what I'm doing and do it right then. And then the next time I remember to I'm engaged in something else I can't stop doing immediately...

So, having admitted to that, my blog posts will be sporadic; I will blog when I can or when I feel like it. I can't promise any more than that.

However, that does not mean the purpose of the blog has been abandoned. I am continuing to make the best choices everday and trying to be intentional about every choice I make. I know I don't always win the little battles, but I have found a bit more focus than I have in quite a while. So perhaps soon I will find enough motivation to make enough of a difference to make me want to blog more.

Till then, I will be reading other blogs and hoping to grab myself a bit of motivation from there.

I try...sometimes I fall

I can safely say my cold/cough has finally cleared out and I'm ready to start 'treadmilling' again. I haven't been doing anything for exercise for about 3 weeks now :(

Foodwise, I've been trying. Like literally trying, because I do not have a set plan, just an idea of what I want to achieve which I loosely stick to and am easily diverted from due to lack of a more strict plan. Which is why I sometimes fail. I have found myself in teh middle of a meal that should have been a no no, either because of content or amount. Totally wrong food or a second serving.

So, I need to sit with myself and decide exactly how I will eat, what, when and how much. This has been the biggest problem for me my whole life. I just have never been able to stick to a plan. The longest ever was 2 weeks, and during that 2 weeks I saw changes that could have multiplied and brought a real change had I followed through for longer, but alas...

So, yeah, no reason not to workout anymore, and to make and stick to that plan...