Thursday, October 27, 2011

Loving aerobics

I have been going to aerobics, yes, the same boot camp-like aerobics that had me sore for a week the first time I went. And I've been enjoying it so immensely that I was really bummed when I couldn't go yesterday. I'm really glad that I've been going regularly because I can feel that I'm gaining strength and becoming fitter and fitter. Annnnndd, there are other benefits...the number on the scale is going down! Ok, I don't see any changes on the mirror yet, but I know something is happening, and it's only a matter of time and consistency and I'll have wonderful results to be proud of.

So yeah, I'm going to keep going!

Other than that, I think I'm on the right track. I want to celebrate my birth month differently this year. In my family, birthdays mean a celebration with lots of food and cake. I'm still going to have a cake, I make it myself anyway, but I will not be going all out like I usually would, and even the braai will have to just be like a normal meal, no more overindulging. Some may be bummed, but it's my choice to make, for my own good.

By the way, I started reading Women, Food and God. I'm only a few pages in, but somehow I can tell that it's going to change the way I think about myself...scary stuff I think.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

It's been a rough year

2011 has been an extremely difficult year. It has gone nothing like I planned, because the year's events have been devastatingly draining, emotionally, but also financially. I have had to give up a lot, and just accepted that things will get better as it progressed.

I have to admit though, amidst all that, I was always 'present in the moment'. All year through I have been thinking about my weight loss journey (that is not happening). I have been trying and giving up on a lot of things. It has been a rollercoaster of a year, and as much as I know that blaming the events is tantamount to giving excuses, I accept that they did contribute some to my lack of progress and I wasn't strong enough to be wiser about it.

I'm tempted to list all that I tried this year, but I'll leave it for the year round-up post. It makes me sad to think about all of and would make this an even more emotional post for me.

One thing I have done obsessively though: I've weighed myself and recorded the weight every single day I woke up from my own bed this year. So I have almost a year's worth of daily weigh ins to tell the story of how the year have gone for my 'non'-weight loss.

I decided to study the data. There are so many ups and downs it's sad. I sat with it and linked the events of the year to the weight fluctuations and there was definite correlation. Every death in family showed me gaining and gaining, the easier periods had me losing some, but then I'd go up again.

So now I'm praying that the rest of the year stay calm, as calm as it can be amidst the holiday season. And I'm praying for a great 2012. I feel tired, emotionally. I am motivated to forge on with my weight loss journey but sometimes the my emotional weight just drags me down and I go further and further up on the scale.

I weigh today more than I did at the beginning of the year. So right now this is my objective: To end the year weighing less than I did at the end of last year. That's all I want, even if it's by 0.01kg.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I don't feel like writing another 'I'm not too well' post, but I just wanted to write as I haven't in week---I'm trying to be regular, at least once a week...

Yeah, I'm not feeling too good. I have this sort of cold thing going on, and the meds make me super drowsy! It's been a hard week at work because all I've wanted is to sleep. I'm glad tomorrow's Friday.

Nonetheless, Monday and Tuesday I went to the killer aerobics. Man, those guys and girls can really drill, it's more like boot camp than regular aerobics. I had to skip yesterday because I felt I would be too tired to do anything worth the time. I'm going back today though. Pity it's only Mon thru Thursday. I'll do a personal walk on Friday and there are a couple of walks I know about this weekend for Cancer Awareness Month, of which I'll choose one to do if I end up not travelling (big possibility that I'm not going). So I'll have had a week to be proud of. Hoping that next week will be another one and I just keep doing the same week after week!

As far as the eating part --- I'm really trying. I've scaled back my carbs some, and always add more veges to my plate. However, I've had this weird hunger that hits late morning along with the drowsiness. I've been ignoring it since I would've had my mid-morning fruit snack, and then I go home for a nutritious lunch. Yeah, I've been lazy and haven't been packing lunch to bring to work for quite a while now, then I'd drive out to get lunch from home or sometimes buy, but it's a bit heavy on the gas, and my pocket when I do go buy. So, I'm thinking of ways to stop. Of course, there's only one answer, pre-make lunches for the week and just grab and go in the morning. I've done it before, so I certainly can do it again.

Anyway, I'm just praying that this cold leave me sooner rather than later, I hate being sick, ugh.

Friday, October 7, 2011

It's October and I'm sick...

How did we get here???! I just can't even how quickly this year has gone by, no matter how much I try to rationalize it, and think back to what I've done/been through, it's still gone by too fast.

Today, I'm not well. I was ok coming into work this morning, but now I'm sneezing, blocked nostrils, teary eyes, everything that screams, cold! But it has to go away because I haev a trip this weekend. My body took quite a beating this past two weeks, and I understand how weak it may be, but I also need it to be healthy to keep me going...

I had planned to start October out strong, but being so busy and tired I'm not quite where I wanted to be. I'm trying though, and I'm crossing my fingers that by next week I'll be ticking everything off of my list. That should feel good, and should set the mood for the rest of the year.

From end of September starts the 'holiday season' for me. With all the long weekends and celebrations these last 3 months of the year are just a mine field that could see me beginning 2012 worse for wear. I'm thankful that we don't 'celebrate' halloween here, don't think I can handle the candy. The American community here invites us local employees, but it's better to not go. Thanksgiving is the same, but I choose to celebrate it with my family, and I know I can control myself. Then comes christmas, and all the December birthdays!

I'm staying strong though.