If anyone came here through a link, I'm sure it's coz you thought this is an update about my progress in 2011, or that I'm stating my intentions, etc. I'm sorry to disappoint, both of those are not the bottomline or 'take home' message of this post. It's only February 11th, but I'm here to tell you that 2011 has so far been a painful year. I know I have it within me, and it's up to me to turn make it into a more glorious year. I pray that I do rise up to meet all challenges I face this year, in fact, I declare that I will tame this year and I will finish on top. So far, I've not had any control over my life. The 'events' in my life have left me merely struggling to survive. First my dad passed away on Jan 1st. Any African will tell you that your life is not your own between the death and the funeral. Then the day after the funeral my grand dad was admitted in hospital, and stayed there till he passed on on Feb 6th. I've never driven as much as I hv in the past month. I've never given up control of my life as I did in Jan/Feb 2011. 6 Feb 2011 is a day I've dreaded and prayed will never come till I had no words, but still it came. My FATHER is no more. I'm still not processing it right I'm sure, it's not sinking in well. Wht I know is that my life is not under my own control right now, I'm floating through the days. Merely surviving. I don't have the power to get back the way they used to be. All I can do is promise to take care of myself so that I can at least like to their ages. My dad was a young 55, my grand dad was a very young 80, considering both his parents lived well into their 90. Life's unfair. But I owe it to them to move on, carry forth their legacy, hence I need to take care of myself. So after the funeral it'll be time to take back the reins and start living my life, and striving for a long life. I'm going to face 2011 head on, and I'm making my fathers proud, I know both will be cheering me on.
This time --- has to be the final time, no matter how long it takes. After trying my own way for years and not getting anywhere near my goal, I've decided it's time I sought help. And this is it...hope I inspire others to seek well-deserved help.