Queen of the week

Despite my fears that I'll be losing yet another P25 this week, I didn't!! I actually ended up arriving later than usual and one of the girls had already left, and since I had told them I might have gained she had already claimed the other girl's P25 and I was to hand mine over. But alas, with my 1.8kg (3.9lbs) loss this week, she now owes me P50! I'm the week's biggest loser! Hurray!!!

Anyways, it wasn't and it's not smooth sailing. Why, oh why, is is so easy to change my mind and eat something that's not on the day's plan? Why is it so easy to eat more than enough? Why is it so much easier to sleep in that to force myself to get up and get some activity in in the morning? Why, why, why?

I start everyday with good intentions, but not much later I find myself drifting from the plan. And guess what? It's easier to keep drifting off than to rein myself in and do the right thing immediately. Case in point, I found myself mindlessly eating banana chips after lunch, but instead of stopping right then I told myself I'll do better the rest of the day as I finished them off! I know what I want, I know what I should do to get what I want, but Dear Lord, is it ever hard to stay the course?

Choice after choice is what matters, and as long as I make more of the right choices than wrong ones I know I'll make progress, no matter how slow. Just keep making choice after choice count, one bad choice should be followed by several good ones, no 2 bad choices in a row. Does this make any sense? It does to me, and that's what I'm aiming for.

I'm not looking forward

....to today's weigh in. I didn't do horribly this week. Not at all. I'm sure I haven't gained, but I just know that I haven't lost enough to the this week's biggest loser. Now that'll be P50 in total, and that's in 2 weeks...

What's to come? I better jump on the exercise bandwagon now that I don't have to do the daily hospital runs to check on my grandfather. Thank God he's well enough to be at home!

Food diary and structured eating - weight loss tools

Tracking food
Around the weight loss/health and fitness blog arena, many people blog their food daily, others keep food diaries elsewhere, while others actually have blogs where they not only blog what they ate, but also post pictures of everything they ate and even give out recipes to their favourites! Which by the way I think rocks and have always wished I could emulate.

Been there, but can't stay long
For a little bit last year I was on sparkpeople and it felt great to be able to visualize in numbers exactly what I was eating. I could tell roughly the amount of calories I was taking in and see the breakdown according to nutrients, etc. I've also kept a 'hard copy' food diary from time to time. But, all in all, I never last too long on it, or if I last a couple of weeks I have some meals, some whole days here and there skipped.
Going back and thinking about it, it is because I do not have a structured way of eating, if I may call it that. There are times when I cook ahead for the whole week, and that makes it easy to have some order or control over what I'm eating. The rest of the time I'm picking at different things and just making a whole mess such that at the end of the day it's difficult to even start writing down what I've eaten. Writing things down before eating them would be awfully hard, but possibly it may be a tool to make me think more about what I'm eating before I eat. Except I probably wouldn't even remember to do it all the time! So, fo rme food diarizing in any way is close to impossible long term.

So, how to I introduce more structure into my eating?
I really want less picking at any and every thing and changing my mind about what to eat at the last minute, which means I end up eating something I 'shouldn't' eat. I'm very experimental - I mean I like to experiment. I like to try new recipes and new foods all the time, which makes it hard to keep eating the same things all the time. But I've been trying to lose weight for a long time. I think it's about time I made some serious change and introduce some serious structure in the way I eat to see any progress.Here's what I'm thinking:

• I'm going to work out what I want to eat that I feel I can't absolutely go without for long
• Then I'm going to assess how I can make myself a weekly menu out of those items, taking into account their nutritional content
• Then I'm going to follow that menu week after week
• Review and change if necessary, but change only if necessary

This means I'm going to have to put aside my experimental ways for a bit; stop trying new things and only go with what works. I know many people have lost weight thay way, and really it doesn't take rock science to tell that consistency works a charm when it comes to weight loss.

So, my immediate future is going to include a lot of fresh juice, until I feel it's time to evaluate and make changes. I will be eating real food too!

The tale of the first P25

Week 1 weigh in was yesterday. I'll confess that I didn't really do much to earn a significant loss last week, and so all I was hoping for was anything but a gain. I would have been simply happy to have maintained my 116.4kg (according to my friend's scale that we're using for the weigh ins) - my scale gives lower reading by a whole 1.4kg.
Anyway, 3 out of 4 of us showed up for the weigh, one phoned in a gain, and the last person may not be participating. So I was very scared that I'd register a gain so I let the two girls go first and they had both lost! Then it was my turn.....(drum roll)..... a loss! Albeit a mere 0.6 kg, but hey, that's a pound and a third! So, though I had to turn in my P25, rather than receive two, I was chuffed that I didn't have to pay P50.

So, yeah, that's how the P25 went. I then went home and made myself some chicken and vegetable cobbler, love. The plan is to indulge myself on Tuesdays after the weigh in, but then get serious from Weds till the next weigh.

I want next week's P75!

Productive day

I've always wished I could take my 'weekends' off during the work week. It is annoying that you have to take annual leave hours to do anything of a personal nature during the week, considering that we have so few of them and that that's the only time you can access most services. That is why I'm so thankful that I get to benefit from American holidays; I get to run all those errands that I can't do on normal days without cost.

1st Holiday of the year
Yesterday was terrrific, I was the most productive on a holiday I have been in a while.
Usually on holidays I take the chance to sleep in, on a week day! But yesterday I got bright and early and took off with a long list of errands for the day. And as luck would have it, most took way less time than I expected, and I suppose I have to thank the fact that it's mid-January for that. I got my car registration done, did my banking, dealt with the guys doing customs clearance for me for a purchase I made in South Africa, made an insurance claim for my cracked windscreen, visitd my son's new school and paid the school fees, etc.

Yet I have so much more to do. Can't wait for the next holiday, plus do I love that we get half-day Fridays?!

Weigh in today
Today we have our first week's weigh in. We did the initial weigh ins last Tuesday, and I weighed more than I wanted to - if you know what I mean. However, I did not make a solid plan for the week, I just had a rough idea of how I was going to handle things, that is, food. But obviously that meant I was susceptible to picking the wrong things, the wrong amounts, at the wrong time. Yep. So, I'm not at all sure if this week I'll register a loss, but I hope to have lost at least a fraction of a kilogram, because otherwise it's double penalty for a gain! I have a plan though, which though I still have to polish up I did half the time last week but not at all during the weekend. Must work on it.

So, here's to a decent weigh in - meaning a non-gain weigh in...

New Year, New Ways

No new year's resolutions
I know we're almost 2 weeks into 2011, but the year is still new, right? I did not make any new year's resolutions, but that does not mean I do not have any aspirations. Quite the opposite actually. There's so much I'd like to accomplish this year. In terms of health and fitness, finances, work, etc. But I didn't want to embark on any projects as new year's resolutions, because from experience, as soon as the year loses it's sparkle, so will my commitment to the projects.

What are we to do then?
I already have plans for some of my projects, others I'm still working on or yet to sort out the details of. Due to the uncertainty on the job front, some I can not project to far into the future, but wherever possible, the plans are for the year.

Wait, I lied...
I did have one resolution - To start going to church regularly, and I made it the first Sunday. Last Sunday I couldn't since I was out of town. But this is one I know I can't tire of as I tire of counting the days into the new year.

What's new?
On the health and fitness front, my friends and I have FINALLY started working as a group to motivate each other to lose weight. There are currently 5 of us, weight ranging from 65 to 115kg, quite a difference, hey? But the bottomline is that we all want to drop some serious poundage and we need each other to cheer us along and drag us on days when we don't feel like putting the effort it takes. It's even on a friendly competition level with weekly prizes for the biggest loser, making it even more fun.
The best thing about it is that I know for the next 6 months, at least, I'll get to see my friends very regularly, which is something we have always failed at.

So, here's to a resolutionless but prosperous 2011!

Happy 2011!

I thank the Lord for blessing me so richly in 2010 and look forward to all the blessings 2011 will bring forth. My health and fitness may not have improved as much as I'd hoped in the past year, but I've learned so much that I'm still thankful for all the attempts I've made. For 2011 I'm going to focus on being the best I can be at all that I do. That's the gift I'm giving myself. Resolutions never seem to work for me, so I'm not making any. Happy New Year to all!

I hate to disappear, but I want to

I have no idea what happened with my last post (now deleted), but this is what it was supposed to be:

Blogging. Love it. Love reading other blogs even more, I think. So I do that more than I write on my won blog.

So, I've been around blog world for quite some time now. And around the healthiness/weight loss/fitness blogging circles, I've realized there's a trend; Most bloggers, like almost all, who have reached their goals and are now in maintenance, or are near their goal, started blogging after losing some. And then those bloggers who started blogging when they started their journeys...those are mostly blogging away day after day, or skipping days or weeks in between, but are not getting far in their journeys. That is just my observation and may not be absolutely accurate, but if I'm right, does anyone know why that is?

I find it very interesting. Especially because it applies to me.

Anyway, like the title says, I hate to disappear. But I want to leave, to stop blogging for a while. I want to go away and work on myself privately. I will start blogging publicly again when I have lost a significant amount of weight. An amount that I won't only see on the scale or by how my clothes fit, but where by I'd have to stop wearing some of my clothes because they are too big. I want to come back to blogging when I know I'm making some real progress.

I love blogging, so it'll be quite a reward to work towards.

So, see you later.

Have a merry christmas and a great new year! What gifts are you giving yourselves this coming year?

Modern technology

Thankful
I'm sooo thankful for modern technology that has reunited me old old friends that I've always known will be friends for life. Even during the lulls I knew they were there among the stars as I was there amongst their stars - isn't that what friends are, each other's twinkling stars.
I've missed you, I miss you and hopefully one day we'll be in the same room again.

Back to the grind

Thankful
I'm thankful for support systems and systems in general that allow me to take a break from the regular stuff once in a while. I managed to get time off work and my family cared for my son, so I was able to drive off into neighbouring South Africa for some fun time. I enjoyed every minute of it, from the ride down (it helped that I didn't drive at all except when I had to park the car at the border on the way back) to the down time in the hotel room. Fun times. We need to do that more.

T'was my birthday!

I'm thankful for life, and love in all it's forms.

Personal transport

I'm thankful for my little car that gets me where I want to go when I want to go. It's easy to take having a car for granted, but it just takes a single day without it and having to use public transport to appreciate it. Add bad weather and you appreciate your car tons more. The only down side to driving is that it decreases your chances of 'naturally' incorporating physical exercise into your life. So, in appreciation of my car, and myself, I will drive whenever I need to, but I'll really think about whether I need to drive or not before I turn the ignition on.

Excitement

Thankful
I'm thankful that I am so 'young at heart' and so easily excited. I'm extremely excited about my birthday on Wednesday, and perhaps even more excited about the christmas season coming up. Seeing all the decorations already up in the stores and malls has me giddy. I can't wait till I can decorate my house. I'll do it on the 25th (American Thanksgiving day) when I'm off of work.

I'm taking 3 days off this week to celebrate my birthday!! I have a lot planned, including an out of town trip where I'll be on the look out for new christmas decorations for the house. Why isn't everyone around me as excited as I am about christmas?? Of course it's only one day, BUT there's a whole season around it. I started seeing the first decorations this year in October, that's at the very least 2.5 months in advance of the day, and you want to tell me it only 1 day? I'll always be a little girl when it comes to christmas, and can only hope that my kids will love it as much as I do.

Anyway, on the regular stuff...I'm still taking my hiatus. Enjoying everyday without much worries. I have overdone the last few days but have given myself permission not to beat myself up about it. In the process I've learned how to make the most amazing pizza. I've had pizza from a thousand places the world over, but believe me when I say I have never tasted any as great as what I made on Friday. I also baked some chewy cookies that my son absolutely loves and will be getting often. Tonight I'm making some moroccan chicken curry to go with rice. It's a Weigh Less recipe that I love and have made several times already.

As for gym I'll go when I get back from my little trip. I'm sure there'll be lots of walking on that trip which should prime me for starting regular work outs.

Other than that, I'm constantly thinking about how I should give myself the next 2 years of my life, 33rd to 35th birthday to live my best life while attempting to find the real me. Be more feisty and just enjoy life more. I'm sure going to attempt to live more. Just have to come up with a plan, and it's probably time I made up my bucket list...

Half day Fridays!!

Thankful
I'm thankful that on Fridays I get to go home (or rather leave work) at 1.30pm. I cherish these few hours off because, other than holidays, it's the perfect time to do things I can only do on week days, that otherwise I would not have a chance to do. Usually I find myself getting home later than I do on other days, but with what I would have accomplished in comparison (personal matters, not work), it's okay. Today I don't have lots of plans though, just going home and playing with my son since he's not at school today.

Double benefits

I'm thankful for the privilege to benefit from both my country's and American holidays. This means that I get about twice as many days off of work, not charged to me, as the average person in the country. This, and the half day Fridays are some of the top things I'll miss about this jobs when I leave. *The day was very productive, I'm pleased*