She's just not that into it...

Blogging. It seems I'm just not that into it anymore. I used to be excited to share what was going on with my life and could post a new blog a few times a week. Well, not anymore, it appears. I do think about blogging often, but the feeling is never enough to make me drop what I'm doing and do it right then. And then the next time I remember to I'm engaged in something else I can't stop doing immediately...

So, having admitted to that, my blog posts will be sporadic; I will blog when I can or when I feel like it. I can't promise any more than that.

However, that does not mean the purpose of the blog has been abandoned. I am continuing to make the best choices everday and trying to be intentional about every choice I make. I know I don't always win the little battles, but I have found a bit more focus than I have in quite a while. So perhaps soon I will find enough motivation to make enough of a difference to make me want to blog more.

Till then, I will be reading other blogs and hoping to grab myself a bit of motivation from there.

I try...sometimes I fall

I can safely say my cold/cough has finally cleared out and I'm ready to start 'treadmilling' again. I haven't been doing anything for exercise for about 3 weeks now :(

Foodwise, I've been trying. Like literally trying, because I do not have a set plan, just an idea of what I want to achieve which I loosely stick to and am easily diverted from due to lack of a more strict plan. Which is why I sometimes fail. I have found myself in teh middle of a meal that should have been a no no, either because of content or amount. Totally wrong food or a second serving.

So, I need to sit with myself and decide exactly how I will eat, what, when and how much. This has been the biggest problem for me my whole life. I just have never been able to stick to a plan. The longest ever was 2 weeks, and during that 2 weeks I saw changes that could have multiplied and brought a real change had I followed through for longer, but alas...

So, yeah, no reason not to workout anymore, and to make and stick to that plan...

Looking forward to July

We're so quickly coming to the end of June, meaning we're almost half-way through 2014! I can't wrap my head around time seems to be flying so speedily now, is it because I'm getting old and literally running out of time? And to think I am right around the half-way point of my life...I pray that I get to live longer than twice my age.

Anyway, I still have a cough lingering from a terrible cold that had me bed-ridden for 3 days last week. So, I haven't set foot on the treadmill or done any other kind of exercise for over a week now. The eating hasn't been much better either. I had gne back to eating anything handy without making much effort to be selective, but I intend to get back on track this week. exercise will start when chest has cleared some more though, because I have some shortness of breath that I suppose is attributable to the cold/cough thing.

I hope having had that cold I'm home-free for the rest of this winter. I would like to be able to make and stick to plans next month, so I'm looking forward to a healthy July. However, I'm not waiting till then to make better choices, that will happen everyday, God willing.

Unbelievable but...

Early this week I saw a number on the scale that I had never ever in my craziest most exaggerated dreams thought I would ever see. It scared me, and finally, after 'planning to' for ages, I have taken action. I have started walking on my treadmill and watching my food intake, now I just have to keep going.

 

It's actually really sad how I have watched myself gain pound after pound while telling myself that I will start working out and eating properly 'on Monday' or on 'the 1st'. Food is my worst enemy, but over the past years, even if I couldn't control my food intake, I would work out, so even if I didn't lose much or at all, at least I stayed the same or gained very little.

 

However, over the past year plus, I stopped exercising altogether, and ate everything in whatever amount I felt like. Shockingly, in all this time, I weighed myself every single day and recorded the weight, so I was aware of the damage. I couldn't even deny what I was seeing on the mirror, both dressed and undressed.

 

So, finally I have decided that it is time to stop killing myself. Open back the blog and start saying something. Perhaps this one tool can contribute to help me stay consistent...fingers crossed. 

A - Z of ME....

Re-introduction...

A. Age - 36 (37 in Nov) --- Can't believe how close to 40 I am, so surreal...
B. Bed size - Queen

C. Chore you dislike - Laundry, by hand and making buttercream icing

D. Dogs - none. Used to have a dog when I was little.

E. Essential start to your day - Made up bed and hugs and kisses from my son

F. Favorite color - White and black together

G. Gold or silver - Silver
H. Height - 5'4"
I. Instruments you play(ed) - drum

J. Job title - Cake artist (part-time), mother, sister, daughter, granddaughter, aunt, girlfriend.

K. Kids - 1 boy

L. Live - Gaborone, Botswana

M. Mom's name - Nyalie

N. Nicknames - Oh and Earls

O. Overnight hospital stays - only 2 - when I was in a car accident (2005) and when I had my son (2008).

P. Pet peeves - Obvious lies, being patronized
Q.Quote from a movie - I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a guy....etc. - Julia Roberts to Hugh Grant in Nottinghill.

R. Righty or Lefty - Righty
S. Siblings - 3 - 2 younger brothers and 1 younger sister
T. Time you wake up - these days around 6.30, but that has to change
U. Underwear - all the time, different types

V. Vegetables you don't like - brussel sprouts and asparagus

W. What makes you run late - I'm naturally slow?

X. X-rays you've had - I remember chest, foot, and back after car accident

Y. Yummy food you make - cakes and other baked stuff, made creamed spinach for the first time the other day and loved it

Z. Zoo animal favorites - don't know, zebra maybe?

Time...

A year and a half since I posted on this blog...

Quite a while since I last exercised...

About a year since I was in a gym...

Close to 6 yeats since I discovered weight blogs and started blogging myself...

Time to do something...

I'm eating so much food!

Odd title for a post on a weight loss/heathiness blog!

But yes, I have devised an eating plan that allows me to eat a whole lot of food, so much so that sometimes when it's time for a meal I still feel full from the previous meal!

BUT...I am losing weight! Ok, I'm not dropping pounds and pounds at once, but I am a happy with the steady rate at which I'm losing. So, now all I have to do is stay consistent and keep doing the same thing over and over until the little progress adds up to major progress. Just that thought excites me.

As mentioned before, I decided not to go Weigh-Less strict, but somewhat fashion my eating plan around their plan. So, basically I'm eating 5 times per day. 5 times seeems exccessive, and you wouldn't expect to lose weight especially looking at the amount of food. But I've been losing, so I am sticking with it.

The plan focuses on balancing my nutrients and staying nourished and hydrated all day. No chance of sugar rushes and lows. The food groups are broken down into Complex Carbs, Proteins, Fruit, Fat, Vegetables and Milk. I have a guide that tells me how much is a serving of each type of food, then I have a guide to say how many servings of food to have at each meal.

At first I tried to follow the Weigh-Less menus to the letter. Preparing each meal following the various menus proposed, but found that I had to dig deep to afford the menus as they are. So, I looked at the food groups and chose cheaper foods from each group and that's what I'm focusing on.

This is how the eating plan goes:
Breakfast: 1 CC + 1 Milk
Mid-Morning: I Fruit + 1 Milk
Lunch: 2 CC + 1 Protein + 1 Fat + 1 - 3 Veg (I think)
Early Afternoon: 1 Fruit
Late Afternoon: 1 CC + 0.5 Protein
Supper: 1 CC + 1.5 Protein + 2 Fat + 2 - 4 Veg

So, honestly, looking the serving sizes, there is plenty to eat, and rather than feeling hungry sometimes, I feel too full most of the time. The best thing is that I'm still losing weight.

There are times when I wonder if eating a bit less food would make me lose faster. However, I think about how long it's been that I've made up my own eating plans and they have never worked for any amount time. At least with this I'm following a plan that's worked for many many people. I hope my substitutions do not ruin for me though.

So yeah, consistence. I just have to keep doing this everyday and plan for eventualities that I have to eat out and I should finally see some progress.

This time, I'm going to follow through.

Nov 20, 2012

It's been 3 days since my birthday. I went beserk on cheesecake - my brother bought me 2 slices of cheesecake and I polished them off all on the day, and even had some of the cake that they had bought for themselves.

So, now I'm trying to get it together. I'm mostly modelling my eating around the Weigh-Less menu plans, but I really can't say I'm doing Weigh-Less because I'm making a lot of changes to suit my own situation. Eating solely Weigh-Less is very costly, so I can't exactly do it to the letter. But I'm hoping that this plan that I put together for myself will work for me.

Considering I had dropped weight on the restrictive cleansing diet, I was expecting that when I start eating all sorts of food again I will regain the gain the weight. Ok, I did regain a couple of kgs almost immediately because I did indulge in pizza, wings and ribs the day folloing the end of the diet. So, it may have been water or whatever, but having gone back to eating a mostly controlled diet, I have lost one of those kgs and am as of this morning standing at 118.5kg. Though this is such a huge number, I'm happy to be here because I had really started to get used to being over 120 and it was not good at all because the scale was slowly inching higher and higher.

So, the plan is to never go beyond 120 again, and to be below 115 by the end of the year. I know that is very little to aim for, but I'd rather aim low and make it, that too high and then end up feeling like a failure and relapsing into my old ways.

Busy busy busy

This draft has been sitting for over a year and a half...posting just for the hell of it.

Phew, I've been so busy at work today, soooo much on my to-do list, but I'm glad to say I knocked quite a bunch of items off the list today. Looking forward to tomorrow to get more done in time to enjoy the weekend guilt free! Having urgent items pending over the weekend almost always ruins my weekends because I can't relax.

Being so busy means I haven't had as much time as I'd like to visit with my blog friends, that plus the fact that I had to run some errands over lunch. However, I did see a couple of comments on my last post with some great news and skipped over to the blogs to see what I'm up for.

THANK YOU Felipa for tagging me for the Funky 5 MeMe and Karen for giving me the Beautiful Blogger award.  I accept both and would like to participate when I have a bit more time that I do today so that I'm giving them my full attention. Hopefully that will be tomorrow.

Otherwise I'm doing ok. Still not exercising :(, but will get to it soon. But with the world cup occupying my evenings these days... hmm, I see I need to reassess my priorities... But I will get to it, I will, I have to.

Anywho, I need to dash on home coz my mom and my brother are coming over.

Private

On September 1st, 2012 I published a post to say I won't be posting as much, but I spend more time on Twitter and FB. And I left my FB and Twitter names. Big Mistake.

Even though I wrote and published my blogs for everyone to read, I've never been comfortable with the idea of people that know me reading my posts. So, now my mistake on Sep 1st meant anyone who does a search of name, can immediately find this blog!

I immediately took down the post in the hope that it would not show up on Google searches etc., however, people could still maek it to the blog.

Ya. I'm me. I tried to ignore the fact that people I know may be reading and even tried to convince myself that it doesn't matter. But noooo, I am too private to write about such an issue as weight loss and be fine with any and everyone reading it.

I just wish that Blogger had a way to allow blog readers to continue reading without having to enter their contact info one by one. Also, I wish Blogger could leave my email address for those that would like to have access to email me requestign it.

Oh well. So this is this. I've finally gone private. And hopefully I'll now be able to write freely and much more often. Knowing I am writing for myself and am not being judged, especially by people that I do not know are reading.

But, my hope, my dream is that one day I will actually make headway with this journey. That one day I will look back at my posts and be able to see a trail of how I could to that marvellous place I will be at. If, or rather when, that day comes, I will seriously consider opening up this blog for anyone to read. Afterall, people will be reading about how I made it, rather than everyday wondering what is wrong with me that I've been blogging for weight loss/fitness for so long and yet have not made any progress at all...

Here's to the future!

August 1st, 2012: Still Alive

Oops! I wouldn't blame anyone who thought I keeled over and died from an overindulgence-induced heart-attack or something...I've been gone too long. I have neglected this blog so much I'm even beginning to wonder myself if I need to keep it at all...

Buttttt, believe it or not, I've been doing well. Sure, ok, June wasn't my best month, but I did most things that I said I would do --- you know, goals achieved. I just didn't get that most desired goal - weight loss on the scale. I gained a kg instead. But that is NOT the reason I did not do a July 1st update; I just forgot about it until it was too late into the month.

July was much better. But as usual, I can always do a lot better. The 'take - home' message though is that I have lost weight, just not enough to shout about. Most important - I am proud that I am establishing some good habits and know that very soon I will not even have to think about what I'm doing. Yeah, I know I can be kind of vague, but I'm just not in a mood to share much.

To make the post a little interesting, I've decided to steal this off of  Frankly, Fatso to share:

Current books: Ever since I had my son I haven't been reading as much as I used to - I'm more into newspapers and magazine than books now. I still read novels, though it takes forever to finish one. I also want to start some serious reading, I've realized that I'm losing everything I learned and I need it if I want to continue being relevant.
Current music: Whatever is on the radio when I'm driving, or whatever is playing overhead at the gym.
Current guilty pleasure: TV - I think I watch too much TV.
Current color: Winter fo rsome reason = dark clothes in my wardrobe. On any given day for the past three months or so I've been wearing blacks, greys and browns.
Current drink: Water and coffee with creamer. Lots of water, but only one cup of coffee a day.

Current food: Butternut squash and cabbage. My meals have had either or both of these two for the past 2 weeks. I am trying very hard to limit my carbs from what they used to be by substituting butternut squash for starches in my meals. Bread. I crave bread like a crazy woman, but I'm determined to reduce it to very minimal in my diet.

Current favorite show: Generations! A South African soapie. I know most people think it's just trash, but it's teh one TV show I would keep watching if I stopped watching TV. I also watch Big Brother Africa whenever I can - this wasn't the most exciting season, but as this is the final week i can't help being excited.

Current wish list: Warmer temperatures
Current needs: Shoes for this weather. My feet are just not shaped for pumps or flats or any kind of nice shoes that you'd wear when it's not cold cold to wear boots, but not warm enough to wear sandals.
Current triumphs: Drastically reducing the amount of carbs, especially bread, that I eat on a daily basis. That is huge for me, huge, and something I never thought I could do consistently for more than 2 days.
Current bane of my existence: Bathroom trips - all that water!
Current celebrity crush: I had to think about this, and I don't even know his real name - Lungile Mabena from Generations.

Current indulgence: Sleeping in till 6am.
Current blessing: Having a maid - I can go to gym or wherever when I need to without worrying about my son.
Current outfit: Skirt --- not sure of the name of this colour, very dark tan?? black cowl necked short sleeved sweater, with a black shirt, black shoes.
Current excitement: ?? I'm feeling a bit low right now, so perhaps the weekend?
Current mood: Low, nervous about my presentation on Friday that I actually should be using this time to prepare for!

I've been really bust lately, so I've been using social media to 'vent', hence even forgetting to blog. However, I will keep this plan and once in while jump on and share what I've been up to and how I'm doing with the weight/healthiness business.

June 1st, 2012

I can not believe we're in June adn it's winter again. That season....
 Oh well, this year I choose it embrace it and roll with the punches, though I'm down with a cold as we speak...

Anyway, there was May.

May highlights

• I completed a 13 day food challenge where I followed a pre-prepared menu to the letter. So, this will account for 2 of May's goals - food tracking adn completing a 2 week cleanse.
• Due to above challenge, I lost 3+ kg! (I then regained some...but what matters more is that in those 2 weeks I saw a change in how my skirts fit).
• I FINALLY joined a gym! Towards the end of the month, but still, I joined.

That's the good part, and that's enough to nullify any negatives.

So, there'll be June

June goals
Though we're already 5 days into June I still have high hopes for this month. I'm currently sick with a cold and unfortunately haven't made it to gym in the past 4 days and haven't been watching food as much as I was before. But these are my goals,

• I will continue with gym and complete Krissie's 30 day #sweatstreak though I'm going to be far behind everybody else now.
• I will complete another 2 week food challenge; I want to try eliminating most carbs from my diet and see what happens. Fingers crossed.

2 is enough for now, no?

May 1st, 2012

Coming to you on May 4th...

Anyway, on May 1st 2012, I weighed exactly, to the first decimal, what I weighed on April 1st 2012, so basically I spent April fixing the damage I did in March. But I have to admit that it's not like I was a saint in April, though I did try.

Bottomline though - I am NOT trying enough. I really have not been in weight loss mode at all since end of February, and have simply been winging the food and not really committed to working out at all. I am trying to make a turn-around in May and get back to working out consistently before the end of the month.

April 2012 highlights:





Updating my FB status to say 'I finished!' right after crossing the finish line and getting my medal






My 2 medals from the Gaborone City Marathon; I wish we had more of this kind of events

• I walked the 4K at the 2012 Gaborone City Marathon (This year it was called the Steinmetz-Gaborone Marathon - new sponsor = change of name! My time was horrendous, but you know what, I finished and that was my goal for the day, so it was mission accomplished. There was a girl I know who did the 10K and then the 4K --- crazy! But it's something I wish I could do.
• I have high blood pressure, so high that my doctor has sat me down to talk about it. It was 140 something over 1 something, so yeah, I really have to do something.
• OMG, I have never had to take pain medicine around the clock the clock the way I did when I had the most painful bout of tonsolitis ever (well, except when I had my son via caesarian section). Tonsilitis is an illness I do not wish upon anyone; I had to miss at total of 3 days of work, and that's with the weekend in between, so I was down for close to a week (6 days).
• So, unfortunately the tonsilitis has to be my "new experience" for April because I had to postpone what I had planned to do.
• Do you see how my highlights are more downers than yays?? April wasn't the best month this year...

Plans for May 2012

• Do 2 fun "new experience" activities
• Complete one cleanse week - whole foods; fruit and veg; juice - yet to decide how.
• GO BACK TO AEROBICS - Goodness, it's free! It's only time I have to commit, well, andthe courage to go back 2+ months later being worse for wear.
• Complete one week of food tracking - I have tried tracking my food but I can not recall finishing a whole week
• So, all in all, this May I want to kick-start weight loss and  work at it through the winter.

I absolutely hate how I have set goals for myself in the past, and actually visualizing the end result a few months ahead in my head, only to find myself at the time when I should have been reaching said goal being even worse than on the starting date...my biggest pitfall is not following through - something has got to give!

April 1st, 2012

First I'd like to apologise for whatever it is that happened when I tried to post for beginning of March. I just know I posted via my mobile, but then nothing showed up on the blog...
And February had been a good month, with a great loss, and overall things were moving in the right direction. Anyway, that's now in the past.

So, in March 2012, I...

• Went to Cape Town, South Africa!

  

  Table Mountain

  

  

  My 'little' brother whose graduation we were attending

  



My mom and other brother



• I enjoyed Cape Town immensely.... I may share more pictures once my brothers do give me pictures from another day, of course we didn' drive 19 hours each way to spend just one day in Cape Town!
• But I was on a trip, so naturally things went haywire, and stayed so for more than a week after I got home...
• So I'm sad to say March did not end well on the healthiness front. I gained weight.

My plans for April 2012

• Continue with my goal to do something new every month, I already have plans for the next adventure!
• Do the 4K at the Steinmetz-Gaborone City Marathon, really wish I lived in a place that had more of this kind of activity.
• Once I have a maid return to aerobics.

More later...this month I will update more than once, I promise.